27 7 / 2014
1. Cooler heads, and more forgiving hearts have prevailed in the aftermath of my altercation with E. I think a great deal of our respective anger in the moment came from not completely understanding each other’s tone and intent. (Did I mention all of this transpired over a series of texts and emails? No, probably not, because that would have made us sound like bigger assholes than we already were.) Neither of us wanted any of this process, as painful as it already is, to be unnecessarily adversarial, and it sounds like we’re both back on that same page, trying to ensure that it’s not. It comes with an enormous sense of relief.
2. I’ve decided to make an actual meal for myself tonight (or at least one course), as opposed to the little things I’ve ben throwing together since moving back into this house. This kitchen has nothing resembling counter space, so it has made what few food prep endeavors I’ve pursued that much more challenging. I’m champing at the bit to renovate, but there are so many steps to take (leveling the sagging floor joists, removing the old, asbestos-tiled floor, putting down new floor, new cabinets, etc.), and with limited time, I fear starting the project, only to have the kitchen be an open pit for months while I ramp up for the next step. Regardless, I’m going to put my recently-aquired someone-else’s-home-grown zucchini and yellow squash to good use. Wish me luck, as I’ll desperately need it.
3. I’m continuing to muck out some of the boxes that made the move with me, many of which were helpfully labeled “Misc. Shit.” There’s been a lot of sorting bigger boxes into smaller boxes, classifying and accessioning. Some of today’s inventory:
- An entire shoebox full of assorted goggly eyes, intended for a previous abandoned project, now begging for a new one
- Religious tracts out the wazoo
- Letters fallen from movie theater signs, which I already have plans for
- All of the emails I received in England in ‘94, printed on scrap pieces of paper, shipped back home at considerable expense, before I knew how any of that worked
- Small box of sea glass from La Barceloneta, which I would have preferred not finding
- Posters I made for shows I played, the former often being more interesting than the latter
- Entire boxes of prints that I “liberated” from my years working in the photo lab
4. Speaking of liberated photos, this is one of them. Isn’t that great?
5. Today’s earlier post was also the result of mining all of this collected material. I’ve been wanting to put all of these scraps to some use for years, and I now have plans of making these little collages whenever time permits. Couldn’t hurt to have those in the portfolio either…
6. I get the packrat gene from both sides of my family, so I’m really screwed in that regard. But, “as they say on TV, the mere fact that you realize you need help indicates that you’re not too far gone.” I’ve already pared down considerably (a product of owning a small house), and have intentions of digitizing all of my scraps, allowing me to use them again and again, and more importantly, get rid of the actual physical objects.
7. Speaking of my work with Dr. Van Pelt, I’ve pinpointed my fears to two related phobias – batophobia (an abnormal fear of being near an object of great height, such as a skyscraper or mountain), and megalophobia (the morbid and irrational fear of large objects). Skyscrapers, large boats, even squat but expansive warehouses and assembly plants – they all give me the willies. Couldn’t possibly explain it.
27 7 / 2014
I can vouch for how easily that can happen — particularly lately, when the border between waking and dreaming has seemed especially permeable.
Yes, very much so…
27 7 / 2014
Drowsy fingers may
Have misplaced a message sent
Or did I dream that?
27 7 / 2014
Lol. Now that’s some dedication!
Please note that her strange keyboard was actually larger than my laptop.